The Importance of Authenticity: Being the Same Person in Public and Private
- Mar 7
- 6 min read
Many of us struggle with being authentic, thinking that with the tools we have we are not good enough. Because of this, we try to act like someone else, talk like another person, or even get surgery to look a certain way. It can go even deeper into our spiritual life.
I will be the first to confess and not act like I am perfect. The reason I write this is because I hate sin so much, and I truly believe and desire to live a life for Jesus. Many of us say one thing but live another. We say watching porn is bad while struggling with it ourselves. We tell someone stealing is wrong, yet we do not scan groceries to save a little money.
This sinful nature is poison to us. It may not look damaging in the moment, but it adds up and leads to destruction. Ultimately, it can cost us eternity separated from God.
Why Authenticity Matters
When you are authentic, you have nothing to hide. What you see is what you get, no matter the setting. We all want to be validated and seen, but too often we seek that validation from creation instead of the Creator.
Here are some key reasons authenticity matters:
Builds Trust
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:37, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.”
This means when you speak, people know your words carry weight and truth. If you constantly swear on things to prove you are telling the truth, it shows your words alone are not trustworthy. When someone is caught in a lie, they suddenly want to swear on their mother or even on God. But you should not need to explain or swear on anything. Speak the truth and let your yes and no hold weight.
Reduces Stress
Stress often comes from knowing what you should do but refusing to do it. When you know you should read your Bible, pray, or avoid something in private, yet you do the opposite, it creates tension within you. Trying to act like someone else or living outside of who you are called to be will always lead to stress.
Improves Self-Respect
When you have nothing to hide, the weight lifts from your shoulders. Listen, I have done my share of cheating on girlfriends, selling drugs, lying, and being a different person in private than I was in public. But Scripture tells us to confess to one another so that we may be healed (James 5:16). When your walk matches your words, the confidence you are looking for begins to grow.
Encourages Others
Your testimony is powerful. When people see the person you once were and now see a born-again disciple of Jesus, they begin asking questions. They will want to know how they can experience the same fruit in their lives. This creates a ripple effect that spreads through your circle, your community, your state, your nation, and eventually the world.
The Cost of Being Different in Public and Private
Many people wear masks in public to fit in, avoid judgment, or protect themselves. While it might feel necessary at times, it comes with hidden costs. This is what I call fearing creation instead of the Creator.
Emotional Exhaustion
Living a double life will eventually lead to burnout and leave you with emptiness in your heart. That emptiness can only truly be filled by accepting Jesus.
Confused Relationships
When people see different versions of you depending on the setting, it creates confusion. Over time, this leads to broken or shallow relationships.
Lost Opportunities
When you hide your true self, you may miss opportunities to connect with like-minded people or pursue paths that align with your purpose.
Inner Conflict
Living a double life creates tension within you. Over time, this tension affects your mental health and your joy.
How to Be the Same Person in Public and Private
Becoming authentic takes courage and practice. You must align your daily habits with the person you desire to become. It is a process that will break the flesh and make you uncomfortable. That discomfort is part of the growth. It is what builds a man of value because it is not easy.
Know Yourself
Understand your core values. Write them down and reflect on them. Ask yourself honestly: do you spend more time feeding your flesh through social media, or feeding your spirit through time with God? Once you answer that question honestly, you can move forward.
Who are you?
Set Boundaries
Maturity in Christ means knowing when to speak and when not to share certain things.
It means understanding the difference between being a nice guy and being a good man.
Setting boundaries is not weakness. It shows maturity in Christ and builds confidence and self-respect.
Practice Honesty
Scripture shows us that the prophets did not always speak in soft or comfortable ways. They spoke truth boldly. They did not simply say, “God loves you, everything will be okay.” They confronted sin and called people to repentance. They spoke with honesty and firmness, and they stood on their words. When you read Scripture for yourself, you see that truth matters. Speak honestly, but remain authentic.
Know Your Imperfections
Only One is perfect, and that is not you.
You might have a speech issue like I do, or maybe you struggle with reading. Whatever it may be, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Accept it and work to improve it.
If reading is difficult, keep reading. If speaking in front of a camera or crowd is uncomfortable, practice until you get better.
There is a difference between being okay with your imperfections and accepting them while growing through them.
Surround Yourself with Support
Your environment plays a huge role in the man you become.
Isolation can be helpful for a season, but eventually you need other men around you. Men who will pray with you, challenge you, and walk alongside you.
If you are looking for that kind of brotherhood, you can find it here. 👉 Brotherhood
Reflect Regularly
Take one day each week to practice Sabbath.
Use this day to reflect, reset, and rest. Put away your devices and evaluate where you are in life.
Examples of Authenticity in Everyday Life
At Work
This might look like refusing to gossip or speak negatively about others. It may even mean removing yourself from those conversations entirely.
Let your character stand out so people begin asking, “Why is he different?”
With Friends
Praise God openly around your friends. Refuse to laugh at lustful or degrading jokes.
Be the one who shows maturity in your walk with God.
In Relationships
Be consistent in how you treat your partner both in public and in private. This consistency strengthens trust and intimacy.
On Social Media
Share moments that reflect your real life, not just highlight moments.
Authentic posts connect with people more deeply and create meaningful engagement. This does not mean sharing everything, but when used wisely, your words or story may inspire someone who needs it.
Challenges to Authenticity and How to Overcome Them
Being authentic is not always easy. Fear of rejection, social pressure, or past experiences can hold you back.
Fear of Judgment
Ask yourself: who are you doing this for? Are you posting to gain followers, or to be obedient and share His Word? Are you afraid to wear something that represents Jesus because people might mock you, or will you live boldly for His glory?
Pressure to Conform
There is a balance in life. Jesus told us to give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s. Stand firm in what you believe. Do not change who you are just to fit in.
Past Hurt
Past wounds are real and must be healed. Seek God and community to help you through that process. Allow people to hold you accountable and walk with you.
Uncertainty About Yourself
Continue exploring your interests and values. Authenticity grows as you better understand who God created you to be.
The Impact of Authenticity on Mental Health
Research shows that authenticity improves overall well-being. People who live authentically often experience:
Lower levels of anxiety and depression
Higher self-esteem and life satisfaction
Better stress management
Stronger social support networks
Being the same person in public and private reduces internal conflict and brings emotional balance.
By: Kyler Jenkins — For His Glory
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